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Chapter 31. The Get Run Over Church

May 3, 2010

The Get Run Over Church

“Worship is everybody’s business,” my father said with fervor into the microphone! Song service had been going for twenty minutes or so and the church was getting close to breaking through into another level in the Spirit.

The same old six and seven that always worshipped with all of their hearts, still were. The rest just seemed content tonight to let them do the worshipping for them. This was not their lucky night. Dad wasn’t going to let them off that easy.

Big Don Zhiss was enjoying his liberty and was walking around with joy and praising God with great animation. He rolled on the floor. He ran the aisles. He kept running even though no one was following. His gray hair didn’t slow him down.

The song leader was doing a great job, but some times churches get in ruts. Even good people need to break out of them once in a while.

There was a good spirit of worship in the house. The service was not dead. But like a cook tasting the food on the stove and saying, “I think it needs a little more salt.” That’s what Dad was doing.

He said, “Alright, I want all of you men to get out in the aisles and worship. Men should be the leaders in worship in the church. Come on men. Get away from your comfort zones. Lift your hands in the air.  You may not do what I do, but everybody ought to do something for Jesus!”

Like the good obedient people they were, the men gathered self-consciously into the aisles. Even the timid and quiet ones came too. The music was still playing and hands were still clapping.

Several pairs of eyes watched as Bro. Ted moved into the aisles. He had never ventured there in recent memory. He wasn’t a tall or big man. His timid and quiet nature made him seem smaller. He love to pray and sing and clap his hands, but no one had ever every seen him get demonstrative in praise before. They couldn’t wait to see what he would do.

It was quite an accomplishment for him. He stood by the 3rd row in the center aisle facing the pulpit. He raised his hands, closed his eyes and worshipped freely for several minutes. This was something, Bro. Ted was getting close to a break through.

The saints were making real progress. Many were shouting and enjoying the presence of the Lord. People were speaking in tongues all over the house.

Big Don Zhiss began to feel what he called the ‘anointment.’ He felt that the Lord was impressing him to run the aisles, but in a new dimension. He just knew the Lord was telling him to run the aisles with his eyes closed.

Not being one to be slow to respond, Bro. Don charged down the center aisle, full steam ahead. His nearly 300 pounds of mass caused smaller men to step aside, but not Bro. Ted.

Bro. Ted was clueless. His back was to Bro. Don and besides that, his eyes were closed too. All of worshippers that believed in ‘watch and pray’ could sense impending doom.

Don hit Ted’s small frame like he was a leaf in the wind. Don barely stumbled. Ted was totally flattened out, face down.

Ted never opened his eyes. He slowly stood back up as concerned saints held their breath. Finally he stood erect again. By this time, Don had made another lap, and came charging down the aisle again.

Once more he waylaid Bro. Ted, and reduced him to a rag doll on the rug. Don didn’t seem to notice the damage he’d done.

Still Ted tried to continue on without opening his eyes. He was so close to getting something from the Lord. He was finally able to rise up in a kneeling position with his hands still raised, when Don came around the 3rd time.

Bro. Don made the corner and laid him out once more. By this time, Bro. Ted had all the worship he could enjoy. He crawled on his hands and knees back down his row and seemed to be content to praise the Lord in the safety of his own seat.

Bro. Zhiss kept running!

(Bro. Ted was never seen in the aisles again.)

This Too is Home Missions!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Kim Ballestero permalink
    May 3, 2010 1:06 pm

    HAHAHAHA!!!! That truly made me laugh out loud!

  2. May 3, 2010 1:29 pm

    Oh My! This is so vivid… were you there?

  3. Sue Pinell permalink
    May 3, 2010 4:01 pm

    I love it… this is the best one yet.

  4. simone permalink
    May 3, 2010 6:43 pm

    Poor Bro. Ted!

  5. May 4, 2010 2:56 pm

    I remember you preaching about this many years ago in Baton Rouge. I still laugh over the story.

  6. May 17, 2010 8:32 pm

    We need more of that “anointment” today!!! Enjoy your writings Friend!

  7. Nila Marxer permalink
    May 19, 2010 8:29 am

    Ha ha…. I can still see dad bending over from laughing so hard about this story. Especially when Brother Ted crawled back between the seats because he dare not try to stand in the aisle anymore.

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